Stop to Stand Still

Lately I find myself doing something that I vowed never to do again.

I am, on occasion, wishing that Owen's next two years will go by quickly.

Don't get me wrong-- I love the fact that the little boy in him is intermingled with the baby still remaining. But he is stubborn. He is whiny. He is needy. He is constantly on the verge of doing damage to himself or to our belongings. He won't sit still for more than three seconds. I know... he's a toddler.

My older son has a very similar personality. For the most part, at age nearly eight, he is a delight to be around. He's smart, funny, respectful, generally polite, and kind to his siblings. But man, the time frame between one and five years were so, so hard. I constantly found myself wondering why my child had to be the difficult one. The one who couldn't transition easily from one activity to the next. The one who wouldn't talk to new people. The one who struggled in large groups of children. But slowly but surely he seemed to break out of the hard place he was in, especially by the middle of his kindergarten year. And I learned that every parent struggles at times with their children, and that this has more to do with the parent's issues than the child's issues.

Because of my experience with Liam, I know that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. But I find myself getting easily frustrated with Owen these days and that makes me disappointed in myself. I should know better now. I should know how to avoid situations in which Owen is at risk of becoming Fire Baby (Incredibles, anyone?).

This past weekend was the wedding of my cousin at the beach. Liam and Emmy were both in the bridal party, and there was a full weekend of activities planned. We made the decision a few months ago to leave Owen with Chip's parents for the weekend, and I know that it was the right one. It would have been a totally different experience having him with us, one in which Chip and I wouldn't have been able to have a conversation with anyone without having to dash off to save Owen from imminent danger, not to mention how it would have been to have all five of us in one hotel room for two nights. But still, I felt guilty. There were relatives at the wedding who haven't met Owen yet who were disappointed and surprised that we left him at home.

And what about having a toddler when you also have school-aged children? Helping in the classroom, driving to afternoon birthday parties, going to the town pool without needing a Quaalude are all tough propositions. I feel like Liam and Emmy often get the shaft. I know I should make an effort to do special things with them while Owen naps but honestly I cherish that time to chill out and regain some sanity. And maybe eat something.

It's a struggle. But I guess allowing myself to be honest about it will help me gain a bit of perspective. Because he'll only be little for a blink of an eye.

Spring Wrap-Up

What? It's been almost two months since my last lame entry? OK, so posting consistently is NOT going to be my thing.

Will you forgive me if I demonstrate via photos what I HAVE been doing instead of crafting well-written posts?

Let's see... we spent almost a week at the beach house in NC in mid-April, where the weather was meh but the company was lovely.

When we returned home, we were thrust head-long into Little League season. Liam played his first year of coach-pitched ball, which he thoroughly enjoyed. Just take a look at these stellar ball players. And please take note of the awesome team banner crafted by yours truly (OK, so I just found out who made the banner for this team last year and glued the new names over the old ones. Sue me!)

Mid-May was a blur of Mother's Day Teas, Coffees, Luaus and the like. Here is Emmy doing her version of the hula with her girlfriends at school...

We headed back to Duck for a long weekend over Memorial Day because there's nothing we love more than to torture ourselves with two 8 hour car rides within 5 days. Good times! The weather was much more cooperative this trip, and the kids had fun playing with their cousins Colin (age 3) and Ryan (16 months- three weeks older than Owen).

Chip's parents decided that five children under the age of 8 and two large Golden Retrievers was not enough chaos for one beach house, so they picked up a new Golden puppy on the way down to add to the menagerie. Meet Maisie....

Early June marked Emmy's graduation from preschool, which stirred up all sorts of weepiness for me. I've had a child at that school every year for the last five years. It's an awesome school. It's very small and very old-fashioned in the sense that the focus is on social development rather than academic advancement. Every child is welcomed each morning with a big hug from their teacher, who encourages them to get messy and have fun. While I'm so proud of Emmy and know that she is ready for kindergarten, I'm also grateful that I still have one more child to mother through the preschool years. I can hardly believe it but it's true... I really am looking forward to going through it with Owen.

This past weekend was Emmy's dance recital. Please do not think that the color is screwed on your computer display.... her costume really is that color. Pink Highlighter, to be exact.

Too much cuteness for one post? I hear you. Let's move on to our final photo, taken at Young Author's Day in Liam's class. All the kids wrote and illustrated books, which is no small feat for a first grader.

So that's what we've been up to, more or less, for the last two months. Things will continue to be busy around here for the next few weeks, as I'm hosting a bridal shower here for my cousin Robin at the end of the month. But let me tell you that there's nothing bridey about this bride. I don't think we can even call it a shower or she'll get pissed. It's just an informal gathering for her and fiance in which we give her presents that she will refuse to open in front of everyone.

Happy Summer, everyone!

Book It

One of the best parts of my day happens near the end of it... those ten minutes I spend reading in bed before I fall asleep.

I really do love to read, although I wish I could find more time during the day to curl up on the couch with a good book. At this point in my life, however, I spend most of my waking hours either doing laundry, chasing around a toddler, making meals or driving carpools. I glance at the front page of the NYT most mornings, and always make time on Thursday afternoons for the Styles section of said newspaper as well as US Weekly, which arrives that day around 2 pm.

A few years ago, when I was going through a particularly rough patch on a personal level, a neighborhood friend invited me to join a small book club that she was starting. Without trying to sound melodramatic, this book club really saved my sanity. We started meeting once a month at someone's house, and we would discuss the book selection after drinking lots of white wine and eating unhealthy portions of cheese and chocolate. Four years later, we're still going strong. We've read some great books along the way.

Some of my favorites...

1) The Red Tent by Anita Diamant

2) Middlesex by Jeffrey Eugenides

3) Truth in Beauty by Ann Patchett

4) The Namesake by Jhumpa Lahiri

5) The Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls


The books that I couldn't get through...

1) Wicked by Gregory Maguire

2) The Life Of Pi by Yann Martel

3) Our current selection, Atonement by Ian McEwan

We try to keep our selections varied by genre which keeps things interesting. We fell into a rut of Women Who Are Struggling Against The Circumstances of Their Lives last year, which I suppose is a common problem in all-female book clubs. We also have learned that your typical bestseller may be a great read but it may not make for a very interesting discussion.

In other news, the finger is healing nicely and I should be able to take the splint off next week. Yippee! I guess I'm going to have to start doing the dishes again.

Ouch.

Things you cannot do when you have a broken pinky finger:

1. Buckle your 14 month old into his carseat
2. Change said 14 month old's diaper
   
3. Prepare any foods that involve slicing, dicing or chopping
4. Get yourself into your slim-fitting, going out jeans without the assistance of your husband who you have to keep reassuring that yes, these jeans are indeed the correct size
5. Wash dishes
6. Sleep well
7. Drive a stick shift car in a safe manner
   
8. Straighten your hair
9. Type well (note that I'm not using many letters on the far left side of the keyboard)
10. Open your child-proof bottle of Percocet

In what may have been the lamest injury story ever, I broke my finger Friday while running up the steps with a full laundry basket. I slipped, fell, and rammed my finger into the wall.

The positive side of things-- it is in situations like this that I am keenly aware of the awesomeness of my friends here in town. One friend took Owen for the morning, another brought us a delicious dinner, and the phone has been ringing all day with offers of food, transportation, and other nice things.

I'm a lucky girl.

Fashion Trend That I Don't Understand

Can someone please explain how this outfit makes sense?




Or this one?


What is UP with pairing a lovely, lady-like jacket with Daisy Duke shorts? Has anyone actually WITNESSED an individual wearing such an ensemble?

Actually, I do have one friend who probably could rock this look but even she might risk looking slightly ridiculous.

Trust me... I love me some J Crew. I even bought a jacket there purely on impulse last month, thinking that the idea of having such an article of clothing in my wardrobe might inspire me to wear something other than fester pants every day. And I felt like treating myself because that morning I was able to button a pair of khakis that had been taunting me from the depths of my closet for over two years. And I had Emmy with me, who assured me that the jacket looked really pretty. Yes, I take the opinion of a five year old into consideration when buying clothes.

Maybe I just don't have my finger on the pulse of today's fashion vibe. But seriously--- can anyone other than Carrie Bradshaw wear shorts with a tailored jacket?

Swiss Miss

Not to sound bitter, but this is where I could be right now....


Chip called me one afternoon a few days ago to tell me that he'd been invited to a conference this week in St. Moritz. I suppose the investment bank guys are trying to fit in one more luxe "business conference" before they are all canned later this month. This is something that his boss would normally attend, but for various reasons he declined and told Chip to go in his place. And oh yeah-- Chip could bring a guest, all expenses paid.

Excuse me while I weep for a moment.

When Chip called to tell me about the trip, I could practically hear him tap dancing on his desk. He has been a snowboarder for over 25 years-- he got his start on one of the first boards Burton made, on the hills of the golf course in the town where he grew up. Before kids, we took some awesome winter vacations together that we still wistfully talk about.

Chip: Remember that time we went to Vail? I think my favorite part was getting first tracks in the powder every morning!

Tressa: Yeah, I think my favorite part was when you convinced me that the easiest way down the mountain for my apres-ski cocktail was a black diamond mogul run. Remind me... how many hours did it take for me to speak to you again?

Chip: Oh, no more than two or so. But that drink was really good, huh?

Ahh, those misty, watercolored memories. Good times!

We found out I was pregnant with Liam right after we booked a trip to Jackson Hole. I spent that trip reading copious amounts of baby reference books and checking my underpants for signs of spotting while Chip shredded solo. Our skiing and snowboarding vacations pretty much melted away once we had kids, that is, until this winter. When I could take photos like this one...


Liam is DYING to snowboard but we were repeatedly told that he should get the feel for it by learning to ski first. This made absolutely no sense to Chip but he went along with it for the sake of saving the cost of the rental (we borrowed skis for both kids from friends).

So where was I? Man, this post is like a real conversation with me. I'm all over the place as usual.

Ah, yes. St. Moritz. So my first, most practical problem is that my passport expired over four years ago. And that passport was still in my maiden name. Chip was certain he had heard someone say that you can drive to Philadelphia and get a passport in a day, but that sounded a bit dubious. I mean, I want the thing to have MY name on it, not someone else's. This isn't like getting a fake ID, yo.

And then of course there is the issue of who we could foist the children upon for a week. We have been very fortunate to leave the kids with family in the past- Chip's parents in particular are usually game to have them for an extended period. My mom, however, secretly disapproves of me leaving the kids behind for a vacation. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that she never left my siblings and me with ANYONE. Even for a quiet dinner out with my Dad. Of course, now she's 65 and the only places she has gone on vacation other than the Jersey Shore are on trips that Chip and I have taken her. That's what happens when you're widowed at age 42 and spend the next 23 years doing nothing but raising your teenage children, working your butt off to send these children to college, and then shopping for pajamas for your grandchildren. But that's a post for another day.

I had to explain to Chip that while I would love to spend a week with him in Switzerland, our life is such that I can't pack up and leave on a moment's notice. The logistics of going away without the kids are enough to kill me. When we went to Miami for a mere weekend in January with ample time to prepare, I actually considered NOT GOING two days before because I felt so overwhelmed. What can I say. I'm a control freak. I like to have every item that the kids will possibly need neatly packed and inventoried for the in-laws along with comprehensive lists of insurance information, meal ideas and Tylenol dosage charts. Don't even get me started on all the crap that I need to remember for Owen-- baby monitor, diapers, wipes, snackies, music thingy for the crib that he needs to fall asleep (or so I'M convinced he needs), extra changes of clothes.. aaagh!!!!

So I took a pass. Chip said he'll probably get to go again next year, but who knows if he'll even have the same job at that point, right?

But that's ok. Because I got to do this instead....



I took Owen for his first non-stroller walk, along with his big brother and sister at his side, making sure they were RIGHTTHERE in case he fell down.

We made it as far as the mailbox, but that's ok with me.



It may not be St. Moritz, but I'll take it.

It's harder than it looks.

This whole blogging endeavor is not what I expected. I mean, here I am, less than a dozen posts into this thing and I'm already feeling tapped out.

I should have seen it coming, really. I'm not exactly the type of person who enjoys talking about herself. I was raised in a family in which such things are deemed narcissistic. But I'm going to keep plugging away, hoping for some inspiration because I think it's GOOD for me to turn inward once in awhile.

I don't want this blog to become a status report of what my family does every day. I could fall asleep just THINKING about how that would read. Don't misinterpret what I mean, however. My Google Reader is filled with posts written by women like me who write about the ins and outs of their daily life, but the difference is that it's actually interesting and funny.

I think I'm still searching for my point of view. I'm hopeful, that with time and some practice, it will come.